Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

I believe taking
care
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of
your self it
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yourself
show examples
is not about
gendr
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gender
, both
men
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and women can use the skin
care
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proudcts
Correct your spelling
products
, but the beauty
care
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proudcts
Correct your spelling
products
i
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I
show examples
brlieve
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believe
it
is belong
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belongs
show examples
to
femaels
Correct your spelling
females
more than
maels
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men
,
for example
Linking Words
using lip gloss or lip tint only for women and when
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a man
men
show examples
men
Use synonyms
using it it is a wrong thing, as we know the thing is right for one
persone
Correct your spelling
person
could be false for other.
However
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from my point of
view
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view,
show examples
one of the main reasons behind
this
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
is
soshal
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social
media, when a
femuse
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female
person
share
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shares
show examples
a beauty
contant
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content
especailly
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especially
if he
was
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is
show examples
a man and shows the world that he has a beauty
care
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routin
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routine
and it is a normal thing to do that may impact on some people,
in
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addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
to
give
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giving
show examples
you more reasons about that some
men
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useing
Correct your spelling
using
the
cosmatices
Correct your spelling
cosmetics
cosmetic
and calling them a "skin
care
Use synonyms
proudcts
Correct your spelling
products
".
Forthermore
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Furthermore
, that kind of action could
led
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lead
be led
show examples
to a new trend we call
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
transfer gendr and
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
happen when a female counsedir
her self
Correct your spelling
herself
show examples
as a meal and the same thing
applys
Correct your spelling
applies
on
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to
show examples
men
Use synonyms
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is a thing
does
Correct pronoun usage
that does
show examples
not even
exisst
Correct your spelling
exist
. The fact is, there
is
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are
show examples
only two kinds of people one of
Add an article
the theme
show examples
theme
Fix the agreement mistake
themes
show examples
is
men
Use synonyms
and the other is women believe or not
that is
Linking Words
the reality and
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
end of the day it is all about hurmuns.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has some good ideas, but the points need to be clearer. Make sure each idea flows logically to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Try to add an introduction that clearly states your position and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Use correct spelling and grammar. Words like 'gender' and 'products' are misspelled in your essay. Check your work before submitting.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You brought up interesting points about social media influencing beauty care habits.
task achievement
You acknowledge that both men and women can take care of their appearance, which is a modern view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Proliferation
  • 2. Adhere to
  • 3. Celebrities and influencers
  • 4. Discretionary spending
  • 5. Self-esteem
  • 6. Attractiveness
  • 7. Technological advancements
  • 8. High-quality products and services
  • 9. Health consciousness
  • 10. Holistic wellness
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