Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Achieving success, in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
of landing
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good
job
Use synonyms
is a
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
difficult task these days. Every other individual
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a concern that, after my higher studies will I be able to get a good
job
Use synonyms
opportunity or not? Some
people
Use synonyms
have a perspective that, gaining experience and developing soft skills is the most appropriate way to get a good
job
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
, others have a view that, completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
alternative.
This
Linking Words
essay talks about both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides. To commence with, there are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
several reasons that bolster my opinion. First of all, if you have a good amount of experience in your respective
job
Use synonyms
field
then
Linking Words
it will surely enable you to land
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better
job
Use synonyms
role because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
you have gained in-field knowledge whilst working for any organization.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, experience
also
Linking Words
taught us the several challenges, that one
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
in its respective
job
Use synonyms
field.
Therefore
Linking Words
, working for any firm makes you industry
ready
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and you can handle all the complex
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
for for your future company and
proves
Correct subject-verb agreement
prove
show examples
to be
an
Change the article
a
show examples
valuable employee.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
think that completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education,
for example
Linking Words
-
Correct article usage
a masters
show examples
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
/ doctorate and
PHD
Correct your spelling
PhD
enables you to land
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better career. In my opinion, it will surely
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
you in making a good network of
people
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
talent hunt events and meetings let you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
gain confidence among a group of
people
Use synonyms
. To sum it up, I believe that both the ways
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
their own perks in subject
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a good
job
Use synonyms
and
excel
Wrong verb form
excelling
show examples
in that particular role.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. State your opinion more directly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly'.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples or explanations. It will help the reader understand your ideas better.
task achievement
You discuss both sides of the topic, showing good understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: