IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

People
Use synonyms
 have different opinions about getting a
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is the most effective route to achieving success in life .
However
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 think
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is not correct anymore, In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 both views ,In
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain
further
Linking Words
. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
 think that the best effective way to succeed in life is through
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
, because In the past society , some specific industries
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
acquire professional skills
suck
Correct your spelling
such
show examples
 as architecture ,Stutdying from college enabled individuals to acquire
relatived
Correct your spelling
related
 professional skills .
For example
Linking Words
 aviation,
medical
Correct word choice
and medical
show examples
industy
Correct your spelling
industries
,
Otherwise
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific industry knowledge
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is required elements when
people
Use synonyms
 want to enter these
filed
Correct your spelling
fields
show examples
. it is a common phenomenon that
these professional industry
Change the determiner
this professional industry
these professional industries
show examples
 only
rescute
Correct your spelling
rescue
 employees with
Correct article usage
a reletive
show examples
reletive
Correct your spelling
relative
relatively
 major
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our industries are developed
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fast-paced speed today;
as a result
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, achieving accomplishment
acquirs
Correct your spelling
acquires
acquire
 relative practical skills .
For instance
Linking Words
, some studies show that in China, more and more high school pupils, decide to study in vocational
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 rather
Use synonyms
university
Correct word choice
than university
show examples
, because technical
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
 provide
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 of practical opportunities for students when during studying .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , if they already have unique abilities and
pratical expeirence
Correct your spelling
practical experience
, Secondary institution graduate certification, many companies want those students, which is beneficial for their company. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree about both views that in the past, most
people
Use synonyms
 believed that going to a
colloge
Correct your spelling
college
collage
 was the best way to succeed.
however
Linking Words
, nowadays, because of industrial development, going to a
university
Use synonyms
 is an unnecessary thing. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 is not the only thing needed for success, it is still an indispensable factor.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Use clearer examples that directly support your points. This helps the reader understand your argument better.
grammar and language
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling to improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You presented both views on education and success, which shows good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided some examples and personal opinion which adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
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