IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

There is no denying the fact that in
this
Linking Words
 modern world
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication is crucial in
people
Use synonyms
's lives which has improved
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 the use of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
. Many individuals
as well as
Linking Words
 me
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that with the aid of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 they are connected together much easier than before. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss the useful advantages of
this
Linking Words
 new invention.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can conduct a call from different parts
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the world.
In other words
Linking Words
, online
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
 meeting is a great feature where employers could attend meetings, it is especially
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 for
multi national
Add a hyphen
multi-national
show examples
 companies or for workers who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 remotely.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 faster than before as
people
Use synonyms
sends
Change the verb form
send
show examples
 and
recives
Correct your spelling
receive
notification
Fix the agreement mistake
notifications
show examples
 at the same time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, residents are holding their mobile phones all the time which allows them to check the
leatest
Correct your spelling
latest
 news of what is
happeining
Correct your spelling
happening
 even from different countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, one major benefit is that older individuals have the advantage
to contact
Change preposition
of contacting
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their family members by using video calls or voice
recods
Correct your spelling
records
. Another point to consider, virtual communication has significantly
improves
Change the verb form
improved
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's social skills.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research proves that more than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 with social instability were improved after experiencing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
virtual therapies. In conclusion, despite the community having different points of view, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I consider that in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can stay connected as the Internet intended to enhance our quality of life.

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task achievement
Expand on ideas with more specific examples and explanations to make your argument stronger.
coherence
Ensure proper punctuation and spelling to improve readability. For example, 'usefull' should be 'useful'.
cohesion
Use transition words to connect ideas more smoothly, such as 'firstly', 'another point', or 'in addition'.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as video calls for older people.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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