Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In the contemporary day, many
animals
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have already gone extinct,
while
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others have been warned to have a similar risk. Two significant causes came from
over-hunting
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overhunting
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and
also
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climate
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change
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, both of which contributed to the loss of
biodiversity
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as well as
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negative efficiency to humans. These issues can be addressed by the government if they enact a sustainable approach,
this
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can lead to the number of
animals
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in danger being recovered. One of the principal reasons is the over-hunting tendency. Having been hunted for their financial valuation,especially their meat , a vast amount of rare
animals
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ran up against death, even though the belief related to their magical valuation
have
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has
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not been proved by any scientific theories.
For example
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, a vast amount of rhinos have been killed because many people believe their horns can reduce health issues.
Therefore
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, the increase
of
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in
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over-hunting moves in tandem with the degradation of
biodiversity
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. Another critical reason is
climate
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change
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. Simply put,
climate
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change
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or ruther is
natural
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a natural
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disaster
acts
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that acts
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as a deterrent against animal's life , destroying their fundamental base,
putting
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and putting
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a lot of
animals
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in jeopardy. Needless to say, endangered
animals
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run a higher risk of extinction.
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This
Correct determiner usage
These
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concerns
lead
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led
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some special
animals
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which used their material in medicine become disappear,
further
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adversely affecting general citizens. To tackle these issues , the government should enact a sustainable approach. By using green energy and
non- emission
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non-emission
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vehicles, the greenhouse effects can be ameliorated, yet, if people produce less gas
emission
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emissions
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, the
climate
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change
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inclination can become better which can later positively affect
biodiversity
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.
Additionally
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, limiting the rate of hunting can phase out the extinction of endangered
animals
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and help them to recover. Ultimately these strategies , endangered
animals
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are conducive to
get
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getting
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out of precarious situations and
be
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are
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likely to recover later,
this
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can improve the variety of
biodiversity
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and
also
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help people in producing medicines. In conclusion,overhunting and
climate
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change
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contribute to the problems in animal wildlife. If the government adopts a sustainable approach related to the environment,
they
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it
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can deter endangered
animals
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from extinction and
also
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lead them to recover their numbers
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'next,' and 'finally' to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to back up your claims. This will help support your points and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures to make your writing more interesting. Avoid repeating the same phrases.
task achievement
You have clearly identified key issues regarding animal extinction and provided some solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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