People buy a product if it fulfills their needs; there is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

It is argued that advertising
does
Verb problem
is
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not important to
Correct article usage
the decission
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decission
Correct your spelling
decision
of
people
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who buy
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
goods or services to satisfy their needs. I disagree with that because I believe
advertisement
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is still necessary for some
products
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which need
a buying motives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a buying motive
buying motives
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while
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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advertising has no effect
to
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on
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people
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to buy a
consumer
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or household
products
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. It is
undeaniable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
that advertising is one of
marketing
Add an article
the marketing
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tools used by businesses to promote their
products
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or services and engage with their target audience.
On
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In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other words,
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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can motivate
people
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to buy
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
products
a product
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products
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especially,
in
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apply
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the luxury
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product
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products
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which need an
advertisement
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to motivate and inspire
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customer
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customers
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,
moreover
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, its
also
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use
Wrong verb form
used
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for
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to
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boost
sale
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sales
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volume. 
For example
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, perfume
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
hired
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hire
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
top models or stars in the world to represent their
product
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in order to approach
to
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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who are fans of the presenter. Many studies
compares
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compare
show examples
the sale amount of luxury
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
between ads and non-ads,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
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that the sale volume of
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
with ads is higher than no
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
products
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which
no
Verb problem
do not
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need advertising.
Firstly
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumer
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products
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such
Linking Words
as food, beverage, personal care or, cleaning
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
which
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advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not affect
to
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apply
show examples
people
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's demand
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due to
Change preposition
because
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,
such
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products
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are requisite
therefore
Linking Words
, it is bought by
people
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to meet their needs and used in their normal lifestyle.
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Advertisement
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Advertisements
show examples
may relate to
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customer's
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customers'
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decision
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decisions
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due to
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there are several brands in the market for
consumer
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Use synonyms
product
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products
show examples
,
however
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, at
last
Linking Words
people
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will decide to buy
somethings
Fix the agreement mistake
something
show examples
cheaper,
on
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, price
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the key to
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
show examples
people
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to buy goods rather than
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
consumer
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products
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are
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
need
Replace the word
needed
show examples
for
advertisement
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due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
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reasons above,
nevertheless
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, it is still
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
that need to motivate
Use synonyms
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic. Make it clear that you partially agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphs with topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical structure. Start each paragraph with a clear idea.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that clearly support your points to strengthen your argument and provide a fuller response.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement and word forms, to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, providing a nice wrap-up.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • awareness
  • functionality
  • existence
  • potential customers
  • demand
  • features
  • benefits
  • purchase decisions
  • perceived value
  • necessity
  • brand image
  • product perception
  • differentiate
  • crowded market
  • persuade
  • emotional responses
  • connection
  • multiple options
  • word-of-mouth
  • social media influence
  • marketing campaigns
  • positive word-of-mouth
  • inform
  • drive purchase decisions
  • superior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: