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Band 7

The table below shows information about the popluation of new Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The table below shows information about the popluation of new Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The table displays data about the
age
Use synonyms
 distribution of New Zealand's
population
Use synonyms
 in 2011 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of the
population
Use synonyms
 increased within a year, notably the elderly people. Adults and children number decreased,
however
Linking Words
, the number of adults 15-39 remained dominant in both years. The total percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 increased by 0.6%, and people over 65 years old increased by far more than any other group
age
Use synonyms
 by 4%, but they remained the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 figure with only over a half million. The percentage of
People
Fix capitalization
people
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 aged 40-64 increased making them the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group. Old adults aged between 15 and 39 years old shape the vast majority of the
population
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 with over one and half a million, they slightly dropped in 2012 but remained the highest among the other
age
Use synonyms
 groups. Children aged under 15 are not only the second lowest
age
Use synonyms
 group but
also
Linking Words
 saw a slight drop.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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