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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years
The given bar
chat
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
 illustrates the proportion of
individuals
Use synonyms
 moving their
house
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 in 3 different time periods. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be observed that
people
Use synonyms
 who switched
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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house
Use synonyms
 from 3 to 5
years
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 ago seemed to be
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular activity in all age brackets with
an
Correct article usage
the
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 exception of the
group
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 of the elderly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of
people
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 moving their
house
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 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 3
years
Use synonyms
 started to be fewer as they were getting older. Beginning with figures have the total of
individuals
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 not changing their
house
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 in 5
years
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 stabilize. Regarding the
group
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 of
people
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 aged from 20 to 29, The rate
for
Change preposition
of
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 citizens changing their
house
Use synonyms
 from 3-5
years
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 ago was the highest , at 45%, significantly higher than
individuals
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 moving their
house
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 in 3
years
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 or
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 and
people
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prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
prefer
 not to change anything in
last
Linking Words
 5
years
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 by 12% and 23% (at 33% and 22%).Remarkably,
this
Linking Words
 trend
also
Linking Words
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 30s, 44%
for
Change preposition
of
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 citizens switching their
house
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 3 or 5
years
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 are still the most popular
group
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, compared to 2 remaining categories, at 34% and 22%. Moving onto the remaining statistic. Related to the 40 to 49,
group
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 of
people
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 moving their
house
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 in 3 to 5
years
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 was still the highest with 55% , following after
that is
Linking Words
individuals
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 moving to their new
house
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 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 3
years
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 and
people
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 decided to stay at their
house
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 in
last
Linking Words
 5
years
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 ( at 31% and 14%). In the
elders
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
, the number of
people
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choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
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 to stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own
house
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 in 5
years
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 and the total of
people
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 moving new
house
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 in 3-5
years
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 are nearly the same when
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 stood at 42% and 41%,respectively.In the meantime, older
people
Use synonyms
 who are switching their home in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 3
years
Use synonyms
 are the least, at 17%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words individuals, house, people, years, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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