IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving
money
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 for the
future
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 is always a very good idea. First of all,
money
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 is something
that is
Linking Words
 needed in almost all areas
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
life
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. Whether you are young or old, you need
money
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 to buy everyday
things
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, like food, clothing, living etc. Young people are often full of enthusiasm about their
future
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. They are looking forward to their first job, to meeting new people, or to getting to know as much of the world as they can. Many tend to live in the present rather than in the
future
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they do not always plan ahead. When people get older and settle down, they realize that buying a house, starting a family, or caring for your health takes up a
good
Correct word choice
apply
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considerable amount of
money
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, and everybody who began saving
money
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 in
younger
Correct pronoun usage
their younger
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 years is glad to have done so.
However
Linking Words
, saving
money
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 is not always possible. Sometimes, unforeseen expenses cannot be avoided.
Life
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 situations are suddenly changing or there is never even enough
money
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 available for the most necessary
things
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. So, how could you save
money
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 for the
future
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 in
this
Linking Words
 case? In general, you have to ask yourself what your priorities in
life
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 are. What are the
things
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 you cherish most? Is it important for you to plan ahead or do you prefer to just enjoy the moment that you live in? Everybody has to make their own choices and to consider what is really essential for him or herself.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 any age, taking a moment to reflect on your
life
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 and looking back at the
things
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 you have already done is always a good thing to do. If you know yourself well and about all the
things
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 that really make you happy, you will be able to make the right decisions in financial issues
as well as
Linking Words
 other areas in
life
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. In what way
money
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 plays an important role will be easy to
be found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 out
then
Linking Words
. Perhaps you need less than you first thought years ago.

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task achievement
You need a clearer position on the statement. Decide if you completely agree or disagree and state your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and help the reader understand your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Make sure you connect your ideas better. Use linking words to show how your points relate to each other, which will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction could include a clear thesis statement. This helps set the stage for the reader and makes your position clear right from the start.
task achievement
You start with a strong point about the necessity of money in life, which is a good way to begin the essay.
task achievement
You mention how priorities can change, which is a thoughtful addition to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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