Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think that changes have been very positive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
while
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globalisation brings advancement of technology to society,
The
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apply
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modern daily life is dependent on innovative tools
such
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as smartphones or smartwatches.
This
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behaviour leads to a debate : is
transformation
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the transformation
a transformation
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of daily routine changes to innovative lifestyles that be whether positive or negative aspects for
community
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the community
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? In the following paragraph, I will explain both
view
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views
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. One of
main
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the main
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drawbacks of modern lifestyles is heavy smartphone
uses
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use
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that
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which
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bring
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brings
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a large number of impacts to humanity in long-term sessions, even especially in children.
Firstly
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, overuse of smartphones affects many people
in
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with
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physical health issues
such
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as eye strain and pain back.
Moreover
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, when many
addict
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addicted
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to
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apply
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seamlessly scroll social media
in
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on
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their smartphones,
their
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they
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followed
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follow
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celebrity who show their
luxury
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luxurious
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lifestyles that harm their self-esteem and self-confidence, unfortunately leading to mental disorders.
For example
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,
according to
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several
newspaper
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newspapers
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, after 2010, depression rates of the youth had
been
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apply
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dramatically climbed when compared
before
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to before
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2000.
On the other hand
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, technology
not
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does not
did not
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bring only negative sides;
however
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, it
come
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comes
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with numerous positive aspects for
the
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apply
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humanity. The first point of
advantages
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advantage
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is
advancement
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the advancement
an advancement
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of information access. A lot of uneducated people who have a smartphone can access information for self-learning ,improving their skills and knowledge.
Secondly
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, innovative
medical
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medicine
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can extend our life expectancy worldwide
due to
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new technological medicines or vaccines.
For instance
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, recently,
Guardian
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the Guardian
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newspaper
reports
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reported
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that Chinese medical technology
have
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has
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vaccinations for 9 HPV diseases;
nevertheless
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, it is in testing processing.
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
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life
bring
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brings
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a lot of benefits to society in
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the short-term
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short-term
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short term
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and
long-term
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long term
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.

In conclusion,
innovative
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the innovative
an innovative
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transformation has both
of
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apply
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positive effects and negative impacts.
However
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, it enhances
globally
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global
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well-being.

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task achievement
Make sure to introduce your main points clearly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to show the main idea.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your points, especially for the positive aspects of technology.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spellings mistakes, as this will help improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'however', 'for example', and 'moreover'.
general
You address both sides of the argument, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You provide some relevant examples, which help support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Technological advancements
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Nuclear family
  • Extended family
  • Life expectancy
  • Healthcare improvements
  • mental health
  • Environmental degradation
  • Traditional family structures
  • Industrialization
  • Urbanization
  • Consumption patterns
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