Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

It is indisputable that public services are critical for citizens.

While

Linking Words

some believe that new

towns

Use synonyms

should not

prioritizing

Wrong verb form

prioritise

show examples

shopping centres over

parks

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that opposes

this

Linking Words

perspective. In my opinion, I firmly agree with the former viewpoint, as these kinds of

facilities

Use synonyms

can be a main factor in raising the individuals' fitness level resulting

healthier

Change preposition

in healthier

show examples

citizens.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views before presenting my opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

and

parks

Use synonyms

can positively impact the lifestyle of

town's

Correct article usage

the town's

show examples

residents. To illustrate, designated areas for

sports

Use synonyms

will encourage individuals to practice more physical activities during their leisure time resulting in a healthier community.

Parks

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

considered one of the leading factors that build a devoted society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it will connect them with their own environment.

For instance

Linking Words

, Harvard Science School published a study revealing that spending free time in public

parks

Use synonyms

, will increase the individual’s loyal

atmospheres

Fix the agreement mistake

atmosphere

show examples

to their

towns

Use synonyms

, as it can build a strong bond with their nature. Another point to consider, shopping centres are a valuable assist that can

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the city's

economy

Use synonyms

. Refreshing the

economy

Use synonyms

of new

towns

Use synonyms

is essential to maintain their resources and enhance their

facilities

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, shopping time can benefit both individuals and local authorities because purchasing new items will make

people

Use synonyms

happier

as well as

Linking Words

refresh the

economy

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

constructing malls can entertain

people

Use synonyms

, it can be

also

Linking Words

the reason to develop new

towns

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, despite

people

Use synonyms

having different points of

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

, I tend to believe that

parks

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

should be prioritized because of their positive impact on

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

overall

Linking Words

health

as well as

Linking Words

their bond with their environment.

In addition

Linking Words

, improving the

economy

Use synonyms

cannot be met unless

people

Use synonyms

are healthy and faithful to their lands.

omaymahTue Jun 10 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. You have done this well, but sometimes the connection between ideas can be stronger.

task achievement

Try to develop your examples further. Some examples could use more detail to make your point clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', or 'finally' more often to help connect your ideas.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is a strong start.

task achievement

The essay presents arguments for both sides, showing a good understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

parks
sports
facilities
shopping
centers
free time
important
provide
community
health
lifestyle
physical activity
mental well-being
nature
relax
events
belonging
teamwork
interaction
consumer
lifestyle

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Your opinion

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