Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Today we are discussing the issue related to the public
concers
Correct your spelling
concerns
concerts
. We
also
Linking Words
know that
sports
Use synonyms
places and the
parks
Use synonyms
availability
Replace the word
available
show examples
in towns and societies are
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
for the
people
Use synonyms
livinig
Correct your spelling
living
in the area
as well as
Linking Words
shopping facilities are
also
Linking Words
necessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
for the residents for their daily needs. In
this
Linking Words
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
there are two
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
of groups, one
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
that
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
groungs
Correct your spelling
groups
are more
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
because
thses
Correct your spelling
these
are the main factor for
beaing
Correct your spelling
being
healthy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Parks
Use synonyms
provide
people
Use synonyms
to spend
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
leisure time in a peaceful
atmosphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
encourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourage
show examples
kids and youngers to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
time in their
favourate
Correct your spelling
favourite
games , which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to be physically fit and
mentely
Correct your spelling
mentally
strong.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that it is more
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
to make shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
in the towns so that
people
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
do
sppoing
Correct your spelling
supporting
supposing
for their daily living items. I think ,
while
Linking Words
launching a new town, it is important to make a plan and reserve some area for the
parks
Use synonyms
and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
grounds. But some
spicific
Correct your spelling
specific
plots for shops and shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
should
also
Linking Words
be mentioned. In
Last
Linking Words
, I would like to share my point of view with words that
sports
Use synonyms
facilities and
parks
Use synonyms
are more
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
because when a housing society is launched , it
cannot
Rewrite the sentence
can
show examples
not be possible to build shopping markets and shops till
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough population
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
living there but
sports
Use synonyms
groungs
Correct your spelling
grounds
should be functional in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
so that they
atract
Correct your spelling
attract
people
Use synonyms
to live there and create a sense of satisfaction.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Focus on clearer organization of ideas. Structure your essay with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
language use
Improve grammar and spelling. Check your work for errors in basic words and sentence structure before finalizing.
positive
Your passion for the topic is clear, which is great!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parks
  • sports
  • facilities
  • shopping
  • centers
  • free time
  • important
  • provide
  • community
  • health
  • lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • mental well-being
  • nature
  • relax
  • events
  • belonging
  • teamwork
  • interaction
  • consumer
  • lifestyle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: