Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no doubt that rivalry with one another can be a

benefecial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

attitude

Use synonyms

in school, the workplace, and daily life,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

people

Use synonyms

would do better if try to collaborate more

instead

Linking Words

of working individually. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will explain both these views and give my opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

environment is

necesseray

Correct your spelling

necessary

in the education system, especially from the early years of schooling.

For example

Linking Words

, schools that promote academic competition tend to produce students with excellent achievement and

bright

Correct article usage

a bright

show examples

future. If there is no

Compete

Replace the word

competition

show examples

against each other in school, students tend to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack motivation.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

attitude

Use synonyms

can affect

for

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long term particularly when they are looking for a job, because, recently

corporate

Replace the word

corporations

show examples

needed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employees who

posses

Correct your spelling

possess

show examples

this

Linking Words

attitude

Use synonyms

to compete with other

corporate

Replace the word

corporations

show examples

for

sustain

Replace the word

sustainability

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

People

Use synonyms

argue that working together is better rather than

complete

Wrong verb form

completing

show examples

the task individually.

In addition

Linking Words

, doing the job is easier to finish when

people

Use synonyms

help each other.

For instance

Linking Words

, in a company that sells

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

sales

Correct article usage

the sales

show examples

team

Fix the agreement mistake

teams

show examples

gain more revenue if they offer items

collboratively

Correct your spelling

collaboratively

rather than relying on a single salesperson.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Having an excessively competitive

attitude

Use synonyms

can affect their mental health

such

Linking Words

as depression when they lose in competition even minor

competitons

Correct your spelling

competition

. In conclusion,

There

Fix capitalization

there

show examples

are two different views regarding having

competitive

Add an article

a competitive

the competitive

show examples

attitude

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others prefer that

people

Use synonyms

working together is more beneficial. In my opinion, being competitive can be a positive trait because it can motivate

people

Use synonyms

to achieve greater goals, but

this

Linking Words

behaviour may be

disavantageous

Correct your spelling

disadvantageous

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

when

people

Use synonyms

are overly focused on winning in every situation.

bagas0509.bfmWed Jun 11 2025

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language

Make sure to correct spelling mistakes, like 'benefecial' to 'beneficial' and 'necesseray' to 'necessary'.

structure

Improve the introduction by clearly stating your opinion and providing a brief overview of the main points.

structure

In the conclusion, summarize your main points more clearly and restate your opinion concisely.

content

You provided examples to support both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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