IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this question. Many people today are worried about *cybercrime' such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does *cybercrime' cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience.

In
this
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 modern era, many individuals are suffering from internet crimes, which lead to stress and anxiety. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the causes of
this
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 issue with relevant examples, offer some solutions, and present my opinion.
To begin
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 with, one of the main issues is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy access to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Most
people
Use synonyms
, when visiting a café or a mall, first look for a free Wi-Fi connection. Once connected, they unknowingly give hackers access to their phones.
As a result
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, online fraud is becoming more common.To resolve
this
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, everyone should
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
awareness
Replace the word
aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 internet safety.
For example
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, we should avoid sharing mobile hotspots with unknown
people
Use synonyms
 or connecting with unfamiliar electronic devices.
For example
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, in India, many
people
Use synonyms
 are facing issues related to cyberattacks
due to
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 a lack of awareness. Another major cause is fraudulent phone calls and spam emails. They may receive a notification with a link, and the caller may ask them to click on it. Once clicked, the scammer can take advantage of the situation and transfer money from their account. To tackle
this
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, companies should block websites that are not related to their work. Ordinary individuals should
also
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 report spam calls to the bank and the police.
For instance
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, a friend of mine was working at a private company when someone hacked their system and leaked confidential documents.
To sum up
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, as cybercrime rates continue to grow, it is the responsibility of both the government and companies to educate
people
Use synonyms
 about cyber threats and how to identify them.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure all your ideas are clearly linked together; use more transition words to connect your points.
task achievement
Include more examples and details to support your ideas; this will make your essay stronger.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and stated your intention to discuss causes and solutions.
task achievement
Your points are relevant and reflect a good understanding of the issue of cybercrime.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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