IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

IELTS 13 TEST 4 Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy,with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart illustrates the percentage of
people
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 who moved across their homes in different
age
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groups
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 over the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
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. •
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart categorized
people
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 into 3 different categories
according to
Linking Words
 their house movement in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
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. It’s clear that younger
age
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groups
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 have a higher ability to move from their homes than older
people
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,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 intend to be more stable. •In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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,
age
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groups
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 40 to 49 show the highest percentage of
people
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 who moved 3 to 5
years
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 ago by 55%,
while
Linking Words
 the other
age
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groups
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 present an average percentage of 44 and 41 in p. •
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
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people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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whom
Change the pronoun
who
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 stayed at the same home for the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
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 increased significantly
at
Change preposition
in
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 the oldest
age
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groups
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 by 42%,
while
Linking Words
 it decreased significantly in the 40 to 49
age
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groups
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.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with details.
cohesion
Include a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and provides a final thought.
task achievement
Provide specific numbers or examples to support your points about the age groups more clearly.
content
You clearly identify that younger people move more than older people, which is a good insight.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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