Some peoplee think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically.Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays
edacation
Correct your spelling
education
is one of the most important
tupics
Correct your spelling
topics
these days,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
some people think that
mixd
Correct your spelling
mixed
schools
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a better impact on kids and will
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
them
good
Correct word choice
with better
show examples
social skills
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than the single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others believe that students who
studies
Change the verb form
study
show examples
in
Use synonyms
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
or
boys
Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
they have a higher academic
perfoms
Correct your spelling
performs
, which I agree with them. First thing
first,
Linking Words
many people think that kids who used to go to
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
that has
boys
Use synonyms
and
girls
Use synonyms
at the same time,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will get
a strong skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
strong skills
a strong skill
show examples
for adult life,
this
Linking Words
means that,
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
children will learn how to act with the other
gendaer
Correct your spelling
gender
such
Linking Words
as, the
boys
Use synonyms
will learn how to talk, play and even fight with the
girls
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
some people believe that, keeping the kids in
sapraited
Correct your spelling
appraised
schools
Use synonyms
will have a stronger effect on their academic results,
according to
Linking Words
a recent study shows that 14% of children performing better in
singel-sex
Correct your spelling
single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
I believe the
schools
Use synonyms
that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
only
girls
Use synonyms
, or only
boys
Use synonyms
givs
Correct your spelling
give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stronger grades results.
Finally
Linking Words
, some of the
soucity
Correct your spelling
society
argue that
mixd
Correct your spelling
mixed
schools
Use synonyms
are better
becues
Correct your spelling
because
it
is provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
the children with more skills,
whill
Correct your spelling
while
others believe that the
schools
Use synonyms
that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
only one
gendare
Correct your spelling
gender
it
givs
Correct your spelling
gives
give
a better grades results which I think
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is right.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction needs to be clearer and should state your opinion more directly. You can start with 'In today's society, education is very important. Some people believe...' instead of 'Nowdays edacation is one of the most important tupics...'
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea. This will help with the flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple and correct spelling. For example, 'mixed' instead of 'mixd' and 'separate' instead of 'sapraited'. This will make your writing clearer.
task achievement
You made a good attempt to present both sides of the argument, which is important for this type of essay.
task achievement
You expressed your opinion, which is good. Remember to state it clearly in the introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: