IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fossil fuels, such ad coal, oil and natural gas, are used in many countries. But in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, has been encouraged. Is this trend a positive or a negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 era, many nations are using natural resources like fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as charcoal,
oil
Use synonyms
 and natural
gases
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 the
usage
Use synonyms
 of different
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 including
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar power is being encouraged. If I asked, I would say
that is
Linking Words
tangible
Correct article usage
a tangible
show examples
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
. My inclination
reagarding
Correct your spelling
regarding
this
Linking Words
 laid view will
ne
Correct your spelling
be
 discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. Out of all the arguments
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 having alternative sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the context of mechanical development, the
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
 argument to clear my view is fostering the natural resource and
environmnet
Correct your spelling
environment
. If the empire uses
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar power to operate
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
, it will decrease the
usage
Use synonyms
 of environmental resources. Which will be saved for future generations and prevent the running out of all resources.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will help to
save
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of
such
Linking Words
 species.
This
Linking Words
 is because the
usage
Use synonyms
 of coal,
oil
Use synonyms
 and natural
gases
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
singnificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 increasing deforestation,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 they are
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 the paramount of the environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is reflected in one article that in India, the extinction of
sparrow
Fix the agreement mistake
sparrows
show examples
 is noted owing to
rapid
Add an article
the rapid
show examples
 establishment of buildings and
Correct article usage
the lost
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of heavy forests.
This
Linking Words
 led
birds
Change preposition
to birds
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
having difficulty
to find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
 shelters.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the consumption of coal,
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gases
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 extremely expensive for the population. If they use
other source
Change the wording
another source
other sources
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
, it will not only
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 in
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 budget of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 make
safest
Correct article usage
the safest
show examples
 and
reliable
Correct quantifier usage
most reliable
show examples
 utilization of affluence.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it can lead to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of forests, air and noise pollution
as well as
Linking Words
 global warming by producing harmful
gases
Use synonyms
. It is true that burning of charcoal and other
oil
Use synonyms
 can cause emission of dangerous
gases
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast,
utilization
Correct article usage
the utilization
show examples
 of
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar is
unlimited
Add an article
an unlimited
the unlimited
show examples
 source of
energy
Use synonyms
 and is god-gifted. Not only it is safe
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 it is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 easy way to get
those
Change the determiner
that energy
those energies
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, River Turbine.
This
Linking Words
 is the best method to consume electricity from the water without any heavy investment. To encapsulate,
although
Linking Words
 many states have fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
 like coal,
gases
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 to produce
energy
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
my arguments related to
Use synonyms
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of alternative methods to produce
energy
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar power prove that it is true because it
foster
Change the verb form
fosters
show examples
 environment in the context of forests, animal and bird species and atmosphere.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state your main argument and outline what your essay will cover. Try to express your points in a more direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion' to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Check your grammar and spelling. Words like 'reagarding' should be 'regarding', and 'develpment' should be 'development'. This will improve the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You present a clear argument that alternative energy sources are beneficial. This is a good starting point for your essay.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your points, which is good for strengthening your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • coal
  • oil
  • natural gas
  • alternative sources
  • energy
  • wind power
  • solar power
  • environment
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • health problems
  • cleaner
  • impact
  • electricity
  • gases
  • healthier
  • jobs
  • economy
  • strengthen
  • workers
  • engineers
  • technicians
  • cost
  • investment
  • independence
  • reliance
What to do next:
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