Very few school children learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as a part of school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Financial

awaraness

Correct your spelling

awareness

children

Use synonyms

is less

prominante

Correct your spelling

prominent

in schools and it is

crucial

Correct article usage

a crucial

show examples

skills

Fix the agreement mistake

skill

show examples

for daily

life

Use synonyms

basis .

Educate

Wrong verb form

Educating

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

skills at

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age should be sustainable in school guidelines . I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

view because

this

Linking Words

will

enhence

Correct your spelling

enhance

more independence in

children

Use synonyms

and promote

high-self esteem

Correct your spelling

high self-esteem

show examples

with

confedence

Correct your spelling

confidence

which

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a positive impact on

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

personality . To educate

children

Use synonyms

on how to save money they need better incentives

firstly

Linking Words

from parents and teachers at school to

encurage

Correct your spelling

encourage

them to be more consistent and

didecate

Correct your spelling

dedicated

dedicate

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

enhence

Correct your spelling

enhance

their mental development and

life

Use synonyms

skills

overall

Linking Words

For example

Linking Words

,they can easily

lauche

Correct your spelling

launch

small

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

like online

shopes

Correct your spelling

shops

small

Correct word choice

a young

show examples

age

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial awareness .

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the financial subjects in

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

curriculums protect them from

financially

Change the word

financial

show examples

crisis

Fix the agreement mistake

crises

show examples

and

challanges

Correct your spelling

challenges

in the future and prepare them for adult

life

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they can deal with

life

Use synonyms

obsticals

Correct your spelling

obstacles

create innovative solutions . For

inctanse

Correct your spelling

instance

ther

Correct your spelling

there

are

multiaple

Correct your spelling

multiple

researches about how

this

Linking Words

subject

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

brain development and mental capacity in

children

Use synonyms

in the KSA . In

coclusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, financial subjects in

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

curriculums have a huge impact on

children

Use synonyms

from mental and

behaviour

Replace the word

behavioural

show examples

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

. and play a key role in their future personalty and financial mindsets.

dr.nadahamdiFri Jun 13 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence

Make sure your ideas are clearly linked. Use simple connectors like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your ideas. This will help to explain your points better.

task achievement

Your introduction presents a clear view on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

212 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that schools should only teach academic subjects that are useful for future careers. Others believe that artistic subjects such as music and drama are also important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In the contemporary era, some people believe that schools should only teach academic subjects that are useful for future careers, while others argue that artistic subjects like music and drama are also important. In my notion, it is a positive development. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion that creative subjects are essential for children’s overall development.
7
band
People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this? (Duc)
In the modern era, people in many countries have been spending less time with their families, a trend driven by various factors. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this and its effects on individuals and society.
7
band
Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime. what do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? what solutions can you suggest.
Recently, with the development of information technology, juveniles are easily exposed to various kinds of violations. Often, many people have raised concerns that the youth crime rate has risen considerably in contemporary society. This essay will identify the possible causes behind this phenomenon and suggest some solutions.
6
band
Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a lot of debate about whether technological development reduces crime or increases it. Some people think that technology helps decrease crime by improving security and making it easier for police to catch criminals, while others believe it creates more chances for new types of crime.
8
band
Nowadays, full-time university students tend to focus on their studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, there is a widespread disagreement on the issue of whether university students should concentrate exclusively on academic subjects or take part in other activities. While there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this essay, I intend to argue that besides scientific issues, students should participate in other soft courses. The reasons for this are as follows.

Very few school children learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as a part of school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that schools should only teach academic subjects that are useful for future careers. Others believe that artistic subjects such as music and drama are also important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this? (Duc)

Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime. what do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? what solutions can you suggest.

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, full-time university students tend to focus on their studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?