At the present time, the popuation of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the public of some nations contains a relatively huge number of youngsters, comparatively with the count of old generation.
This
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situation comes with
both
Use synonyms
merits and demerits but youth gives more benefits rather than retired
people
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. I am going to discuss
this
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statement
along with
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pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the country's economic status grows day by day.
In other words
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, young
people
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contribute a lot to boost the financial status of the world. They are more
risk-taker
Correct your spelling
risk-takers
show examples
and start new national and international
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
without thinking about the negative part of them.
For instance
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, British Oxford
university
Capitalize word
University
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showed that China got a first position in high-ranked businesses because they have
81
Correct article usage
an 81
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% young population.
In addition
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
, advanced technical inventions have been gifted by teenagers. To explain that, they have a good command of knowledge about technical appliances and how to use them.
That is
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why a person lives a smooth and comfortable life. Robots, washing machines, mobile phones, and the internet all are given by young
people
Use synonyms
's efforts. On the flip side,
people
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can not ignore their elderly's
sacrifies
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
. Now most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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are connected with their roots
due to
Linking Words
the old generation.
This
Linking Words
is the reason, they know about culture, values, beliefs, and customs.
Both
Use synonyms
things are very important to live life perfectly. In conclusion,
both
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groups hold equal advantages and disadvantages. There should be
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
balance in
both
Use synonyms
of them to spend qualitative and
quantitaive
Correct your spelling
quantitative
life.

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task achievement
Your essay presents clear points, but each point could be better developed. Aim to add more details to clarify your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly. Use linking words to connect your ideas, so the reader can easily follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to use a variety of examples from different sources to support your claims, so that your argument feels strong and well-supported.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for the organization of your essay.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of young people are interesting and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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