The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that in
this
Linking Words
modern
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
many people are
useing
Correct your spelling
using
the new technology to interact
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
phenomenon has raised
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
considerable debate where part of the society
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
that depending on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media to contact has its benefits,
while
Linking Words
others disagree. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will give my opinion and discuss the reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
with, I firmly agree that
relaying
Correct your spelling
relying
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
devices to communicate has many
disadvanteges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the population has lost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
communication skills, especially for youth individuals.
For example
Linking Words
, they do not have
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough knowledge or skills to speak in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public or make a presentation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college which will impact negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their professional life. To illustrate, a study released that after exposing teenagers to
madia
Correct your spelling
media
apps for long periods, more than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of the
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
were suffering from social
inexity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
which impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
guality
Correct your spelling
quality
of life. Another point to consider, virtual calls do not deliver emotions.
In other words
Linking Words
, when people pass through tough times they need to receive emotional support and in
this
Linking Words
contemporary
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
many individuals have switched from physical visits to support them by texting.
In addition
Linking Words
, elderly people which accounts
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
coniderable
Correct your spelling
considerable
proportion of our nation do not use smart devices to socialize and their family members have replaced face-to-face interaction which left them feeling a sort of loneliness. In conclusion, despite society
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
different points of view, I believe that social media should be used with balance and attention.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve grammar and spelling throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer connections between ideas for better flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Good attempt to address both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
What to do next:
Look at other essays: