Some think that students must travel to another country in order to learn its language and customs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The debate about the impact of exploring new culture on
student
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development remains ongoing.
While
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some claim that learning a new language and customs can distract
students
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from their academic goals, I firmly believe that travelling abroad will enrich
students
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' academic and personal development.
Firstly
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, Learning the language and history of other countries significantly enhances
student
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interpersonal
skills
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. Travelling abroad is a valuable experience that boosts
students
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’ soft
skills
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such
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as communication
skills
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.
For example
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, in their hometown, most of the
students
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only contact with their close circle
such
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as family and friends.
In contrast
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, discovering new cultures will force them to engage with various people which will elevate
student
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social
skills
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.
Secondly
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, exploring new cultures plays a crucial role in
students
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' academic growth. Learning the history of other countries will expand
student
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knowledge and unlock several opportunities.
For instance
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, 57% of innovator
students
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identify that
,
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apply
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a creativity mindset mainly stems from travelling experience, which helps them to think differently and elevate their academic growth,
according to
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several studies in 2021.
To sum up
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, I totally believe that travelling overseas has a unique ability to facilitate
student
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academic and personal growth. The government should encourage more
students
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to travel abroad.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each point has a clear link back to your main argument. This will help in creating a strong structure in your essay.
Task Response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your stance more directly, and your conclusion could summarize the key points made.
Task Response
Provide specific examples that are more relevant and detailed. Using current or personal experiences can make your argument stronger.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and attempts to support it with examples, which is positive.
Coherence and Cohesion
You write clearly in paragraphs, which makes it easy to follow your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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