In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most nations, juveniles are facing multifarious problems of gaining weight and health issues. Few masses think that the government has the accountability to overcome

this

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barrier. I partially agree with the given notion because there are various other ways which are very helpful to control

this

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type of problem. I am going to discuss

Correct pronoun usage

this in

show examples

the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the government needs to set age limitations to buy something at all stores.

In other words

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, a child should not be allowed to purchase any fatty and oily materials before the age of 10 because his digestive system is immature and he can not digest

this

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kind of food. It directly leads the cardiac ailments and fat deposition in major organs.

Moreover

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, the authority should organize seminars and webinars to create awareness among children about normal body mass index and ways to control their weight.

Furthermore

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, leaflets are the best way to improve their knowledge and clear doubts. On the flip side, a diet menu should be chosen by children's parents. To explain that, guardians have to set the timing of all meals and what have to eat for their infant.

Moreover

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, most health issues occur

due to

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eat

Change the verb form

eating

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food at the wrong time like

skip

Wrong verb form

skipping

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breakfast and

eat

Wrong verb form

eating

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brunch.

Last

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but not least, nutrition

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

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should added

Change preposition

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the school curriculum.

That is

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why, the teacher can easily educate their schoolers about what is a nutritious diet and how they can fulfill their diet with all required vitamins and minerals. It is the best step towards a healthy and happy life. In conclusion, unhealthy people are very dangerous for our country.

This

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problem should be sought out at the first step. It is group work even a single person or organization can not overcome it.

grewaldeep453

Jun 13, 2025

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coherence

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples or explanations.

task achievement

Improve the introduction to clearly define your viewpoint on the government's role in addressing children's health issues.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly about government actions and parental responsibilities.

structure

Your essay is organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You mentioned important points about government actions and parental responsibilities, which are relevant to the topic.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?