In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most nations, juveniles are facing multifarious problems of gaining weight and health issues. Few masses think that the government has the accountability to overcome

this

Linking Words

barrier. I partially agree with the given notion because there are various other ways which are very helpful to control

this

Linking Words

type of problem. I am going to discuss

Correct pronoun usage

this in

show examples

the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the government needs to set age limitations to buy something at all stores.

In other words

Linking Words

, a child should not be allowed to purchase any fatty and oily materials before the age of 10 because his digestive system is immature and he can not digest

this

Linking Words

kind of food. It directly leads the cardiac ailments and fat deposition in major organs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the authority should organize seminars and webinars to create awareness among children about normal body mass index and ways to control their weight.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, leaflets are the best way to improve their knowledge and clear doubts. On the flip side, a diet menu should be chosen by children's parents. To explain that, guardians have to set the timing of all meals and what have to eat for their infant.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most health issues occur

due to

Linking Words

eat

Change the verb form

eating

show examples

food at the wrong time like

skip

Wrong verb form

skipping

show examples

breakfast and

eat

Wrong verb form

eating

show examples

brunch.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, nutrition

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

should added

Change preposition

show examples

the school curriculum.

That is

Linking Words

why, the teacher can easily educate their schoolers about what is a nutritious diet and how they can fulfill their diet with all required vitamins and minerals. It is the best step towards a healthy and happy life. In conclusion, unhealthy people are very dangerous for our country.

This

Linking Words

problem should be sought out at the first step. It is group work even a single person or organization can not overcome it.

grewaldeep453

Jun 13, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples or explanations.

task achievement

Improve the introduction to clearly define your viewpoint on the government's role in addressing children's health issues.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly about government actions and parental responsibilities.

structure

Your essay is organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You mentioned important points about government actions and parental responsibilities, which are relevant to the topic.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Suggestions & mistake analysis
Find every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you bought for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company to which supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem with the equipment -explain how this problem is affecting your work -say what to want the shop or the company to do
My name is Daniel, a web designer, and I bought a monitor from the store on the 1st of May for work-related reasons. This equipment arrived earlier today and I am writing this letter to you to complain about an out-of-the-box malfunction and propose a solution.
6.5
band
Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undeniable that people today have far more choices compared to the past. Many aspects of life, such as work, leisure, and travel, offer a wide range of options that were previously unavailable. This essay will discuss some examples that illustrate this trend.
7.5
band
In some countries owning a home rather renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In many nations, homeownership is often considered to be of great significance. This situation may be attributed to several reasons. Personally, I believe that it is a negative situation. In this essay, I will discuss why this trend has dominated society.
6
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.
7
band
Some companies prefer people to work in the office, while others facilitate their employees to work from home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some enterprises are fond of having staff working in the office, while other employers assist subordinates to work from a distance. The idea of working from home appeals to me because it is not only economical for hirers but also gives more flexibility for employees.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries owning a home rather renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some companies prefer people to work in the office, while others facilitate their employees to work from home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.