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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
The three figures below indicate the
per year
Use the right word
per-year
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cost
Use synonyms
 variation in the years 1981, 1991 and 2001 among a British School. The proportion of each
items
Fix the agreement mistake
item
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 changed significantly. In 1981,
Use synonyms
Teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the main spending project (40%)
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it was
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by Other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 (28%). The remainder was produced from Resources, Furniture and equipment (each producing 15%) and
Insurance
Use synonyms
 (which
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
 only 2%). By 1991,
Use synonyms
Teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 took 50% of all the
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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. The spending
of
Change preposition
on
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 Furniture and equipment had a
significantly reduce
Replace the word
significant reduction
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 to 5%, and the
cost
Use synonyms
 from
Insurance
Use synonyms
 was basically maintained (3%).
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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slightly
decrease
Check wording
apply
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to 45% in 2001. Remarkably, Furniture and equipment and
Insurance
Use synonyms
 enhanced significantly (to 23% and 8% respectively).
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 and Resources both had obvious
decrease
Fix the agreement mistake
decreases
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 (15% and 9%)
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with 1991 (22% and 20%).
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 always took about half of the
cost
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Insurance
Use synonyms
 got the least proportion at all stages.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
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 parts changed a lot in different years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cost, teacher, salaries, insurance with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
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