IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
The three pie charts illustrate the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spending every year by a specific UK
school
Use synonyms
 in 1981,1991, and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
school
Use synonyms
 spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 teachers' salaries in these three years was the largest part of the whole spending. At the same time, insurance kept
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 lowest part of the total
school
Use synonyms
 spending. Between 1981 and 2001, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insurance of the whole spending kept increasing from 2% to 8%
although
Linking Words
 the rate was still the lowest in the total rate. In
constract
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the ratio of the
school
Use synonyms
 spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other workers' salaries decreased constantly from 28% to 15%. The teachers' salaries(from 40% to 45%) and resources(from15% to 9%)eg.
books
Fix capitalization
Books
show examples
 had the same trend that the proportion grew at first and
decline
Replace the word
declined
show examples
 after that. At the same time, the proportion of the furniture and equipment of the whole spending had
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
trendency
Correct your spelling
trend
. It decreased at
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 from 15% to 5%, and
then
Linking Words
 grew to 23%, until 2001.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: