IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Now a days a growing number of people are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent days, an increasing number of people are adapting to holistic
medicines
Use synonyms
 and therapy
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting the usual doctor. In my opinion ,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development as
illness
Correct article usage
the illness
show examples
 can be treated without side effects
as well as
Linking Words
 it can be prevented from reoccurring again. Generic
medicines
Use synonyms
 that are prescribed by a doctor are mostly made by combining different chemicals which can harm our organs after prolonged use , unlike the composition of ayurvedic
medicines
Use synonyms
 that are made with natural ingredients , which
treats
Correct subject-verb agreement
treat
show examples
 the illness with little to no harm to our body .
For example
Linking Words
, Research has proven that the usage of steroids in individuals with eczema
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 shown to develop thin skin over
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 period of time .
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the use of herbal
medicines
Use synonyms
 that not only
treats
Correct subject-verb agreement
treat
show examples
 eczema but
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
maintained
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
 the skin barrier preventing skin thinning. Holistic treatments are slow to show results but can help a person live a
disease free
Add a hyphen
disease-free
show examples
 life . By treating the underlying imbalances
such
Linking Words
 as inflammation and metabolic dysfunction rather than suppressing the symptoms . These treatments aim to restore the body's natural resilience which can prevent the reoccurrence of the disease .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 Anti-rheumatic drugs can provide rapid pain relief but the episodes of inflammation can reoccur if the drug is discontinued .
Conversely
Linking Words
 incorporating yoga and turmeric-based
medicines
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 shown to reduce joint inflammation over the years. In conclusion, I firmly believe that most people preferring unconventional
medicines
Use synonyms
 and therapy is a positive development as diseases can be treated without side effects and prevent them
relapsing
Change preposition
from relapsing
show examples
 again

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction for better guidance.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'however') to improve flow between ideas.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples to support your points. This can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Consider discussing a counterargument to show a more balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
Your examples from research about eczema and holistic treatments are relevant and support your argument well.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that restates your opinion convincingly.
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