IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some People think that exercice is the Key to health, white others feel that having a balanced diet is more imrortant. Discuss both sides an give your opinion

It is undoubtedly true that
health
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 is wealth. Nowadays,
people
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 consider different methods
such
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 as a proper
diet
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 and
exercise
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 to stay healthy.
According to
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 me, there should be a balance between both
diet
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 and
exercise
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, and to achieve a better fitness level,
people
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 need to focus on both equally. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
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 views of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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diet
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 and physical work to achieve good
health
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.
To begin
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 with, in today's hectic
life
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life,
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 humans are trying to find a convenient way to stay healthy that could save their time and easily fit in their regular schedule. Preparing a good meal is considered
as
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apply
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a good option that provides an abundance of nutrients and minerals which are crucial for the body to function properly
that
Correct word choice
and
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 cannot be obtained by
exercise
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 only.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 focus only on physical work, not on good food could lead to many diseases
such
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 as fluctuations in blood pressure.
On the other hand
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,
exercise
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 plays a vital role in digestion of the food.,
as well as
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 it helps to maintain a healthy weight and reduce the risk of chronic diseases
such
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 as heart attack and diabetes.
In addition
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, it helps to refresh the mind and improves mental
health
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 by reducing stress and anxiety and
improves
Wrong verb form
improving
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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mood.
Moreover
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, regular
exercise
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 improves
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gut
health
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,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 it leads to sweating
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 removes all the toxins from the body.
Furthermore
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, it helps to achieve a good body figure that makes
people
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 look healthy and attractive. To put it in a nutshell, it is mandatory to
exercise
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 and include a good
diet
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 in your everyday schedule to live a long and healthy life.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea.
task achievement
Use specific examples or data to support your arguments about diet and exercise.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
You understand the importance of both exercise and diet in maintaining health.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exercise
  • health
  • balanced diet
  • important
  • benefits
  • physical
  • mental
  • healthy weight
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • mood
  • nutrients
  • function
  • variety
  • vitamins
  • minerals
  • neglect
  • issues
  • fit
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