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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the Unite d Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the Unite d Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart gives information about the percentages of
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 on five specific categories in the USA,
Canada
Use synonyms
, the UK, and
Japan
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 by far the most expensive in America,
Canada
Use synonyms
, and the UK was housing,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 it was food.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentages of money went on housing, food, and transport. Focusing first on the most significant expenditure, in the USA, over 25% was used on housing,
whereas
Linking Words
 for the United Kingdom,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and
Canada
Use synonyms
, the percentages were approximately 24%, 22%, and 21%, respectively. In
Japan
Use synonyms
, roughly 23% of their income people
used
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 on food,
while
Linking Words
 in the UK,
Canada
Use synonyms
, and the USA, the figures were 20%, 15%, and 14%. Transport was the largest expense in
Canada
Use synonyms
, with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 proportion of 20%,
whereas
Linking Words
 for the others, it was between about 10 and 17 per cent. As for the remaining categories, nearly 7% went on health care in America,
while
Linking Words
 in the other countries, it was below 5%. In
Canada
Use synonyms
 and the United Kingdom, citizens spent slightly over 5% on clothing, as opposed to
Japan
Use synonyms
 and America, with fewer than 5% on it.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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