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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan
The pie chart illustrates the general amount of money UK
students
Use synonyms
 spend across 6 categories each month
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph depicts the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 that used each type of funding in the year 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, rent used up almost half of the
Use synonyms
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
 expenses per month,
while
Linking Words
 money spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 travel was the least. Using loans was the most popular option for
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 grants and funding
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest percentage utilized. In the pie chart, rent comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 50% of the total monthly expenses at 385
pounds
Use synonyms
. 124
pounds
Use synonyms
 for food and 91
pounds
Use synonyms
 for other uses were the second and third largest portion of the total funds. Socialising and bills had a similar expenditure of 64 and 69
pounds
Use synonyms
 respectively. Travel required the least expense of 52
pounds
Use synonyms
. Looking at the bar graph, 80 per cent of UK
students
Use synonyms
 have used Student loans, which is by far the most common source. A similar number of
students
Use synonyms
 had finances from family and part-time jobs, both around 60 to 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. About 40 per cent of UK
students
Use synonyms
 used their
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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 and bank
overdraft
Fix the agreement mistake
overdrafts
show examples
 as
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 grants and funding
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the least number of student usage, under 40 per cent.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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