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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008, Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008, Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The given bar chart provides key information about the number of individuals who worked in five different
jobs
Use synonyms
 in one area of Australia between 2001 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that Sales dominate all other
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the surveyed years
while
Linking Words
 farming is the most unwanted job among all other figures in the same time frame.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in 2001 most people preferred to be salesmen where the number of people who worked in seals
above
Add a missing verb
was above
show examples
 15000.
This
Linking Words
 figure even increased in 2008 and reached almost 17000
jobs
Use synonyms
. 
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
contray
Correct your spelling
contrary
, there were just 2000 and 1800
jobs
Use synonyms
 in
farming
Add an article
the farming
show examples
 sector in 2001 and 2008 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
 accounting and computing remained almost the same in 2001 except that computing experienced a significant increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 almost 3000
jobs
Use synonyms
 in 2008. In terms of nursing, there were just 5000K people working in
this
Linking Words
 sector in 2001,
this
Linking Words
 number
riased
Correct your spelling
rose
 later in 2008 and reached 6000.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words jobs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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