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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countires living in cities from 1970 ro 2020, with predicitions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countires living in cities from 1970 ro 2020, with predicitions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of people residing in urban areas in the Phillippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020. The illustration
also
Linking Words
 provides information
of
Change preposition
on
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 the proportion of individuals expected to settle in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that there has been a significant shift of Malaysians and Indonesians to developed areas in comparison to the other two nations. In 1970, the residents of Indonesia and Thailand who contributed to the urban population was 20 per
cent
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 which gradually increased in the next two decades, followed by a decline in the percentage of
Thai's
Change noun form
Thai
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 households living in
cities
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of industrial citizens of both nations was equivalent in 2000, accounting for 28 per
cent
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, for the next forty
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the percentage of people settling in
cities
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 rose drastically for Indonesians to over 50 per
cent
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 by 2040.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the people from Malaysia and the Phillippines depicted similar interest in
cities
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 in the initial year with varied fluctuations till 1990.
Further
Linking Words
, for the upcoming years,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 from Malaysia preferred living in
cities
Use synonyms
 which resulted in 80 per
cent
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 of the total population being in urban parts.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the population of the Phillippines was similar to Indonesians in 2010 which uplifted in parallel to the latter country.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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