IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages

Individuals who travel by public transportation
suggests
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggest
show examples
 that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should restrict the use of private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
 and bikes on the motorways once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a month.
This
Linking Words
 approach
owes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefits
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by reducing the level of
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
reduced
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 for
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public.
However
Linking Words
, there are certain negative effects of
this
Linking Words
 opinion leading to disturbance in the schedules for the people who rely on personal
cars
Use synonyms
 to migrate and
also
Linking Words
 causing economic disadvantage for the businesses. To commence with, limiting the use of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the roads for
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 period of time will balance the
pollution
Use synonyms
 levels of the environment in cities.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the capital of India, Delhi,
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 proportion of air
pollution
Use synonyms
 is caused by numerous
cars
Use synonyms
 that people drive. If private
cars
Use synonyms
 will stop for a day, there will be a balance in the excess
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the atmosphere.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more
cars
Use synonyms
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 more
traffic
Use synonyms
. If there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 a
car free
Add a hyphen
car-free
show examples
 day, there will be
limited
Add an article
a limited
show examples
 amount of vehicles that will operate on the roads,
consequently
Linking Words
, leading to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in
traffic
Use synonyms
 and easy access to public
tranports
Correct your spelling
transport
such
Linking Words
 as buses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are certain downfalls of the implication for the car users and the economy as well.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays, people prefer convenience over cost. Many employers and
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 prefer to travel by their own vehicle because of convenience and
also
Linking Words
 because of
Correct article usage
the inaccessablility
show examples
inaccessablility
Correct your spelling
inaccessibility
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, if private
cars
Use synonyms
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 restricted for a day,
this
Linking Words
 will impact their operations significantly.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that most of the
cars
Use synonyms
 operate with fuel. The petrol stations earn a huge amount of profit on a daily basis through
sale
Add an article
the sale
show examples
 of petrol and diesel. If
cars
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not be permitted to used on roads, it will definitely impact the business of retailers.
Hence
Linking Words
, the gross national income as well. In conclusion, every coin has two sides.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there are pros of restricting the use of
cars
Use synonyms
 as it will enhance the quality of the environment by
reduced
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
pollution
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are detrimental effects of
this
Linking Words
 approach as it will create inconvenience for the car users and the economy of industries.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use connecting words to help the flow of your ideas (e.g., 'firstly', 'on the other hand').
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments to make them stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has one main idea and stays focused on that point.
task achievement
You highlighted both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay had a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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