Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

With the
advance
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advances
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in Medical
surgery
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,
people
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have come to undergo cosmetic
surgery
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to improve life. These
treatements
Correct your spelling
treatments
can help victims of accidents to gain back their confidence and looks.
However
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, cosmetic changes can
also
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lead to addiction
due to
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unsatisfactory looks. On the one hand, many
people
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involved in accidents or fires have their
faes
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faces
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or other body parts deformed to
an
Correct article usage
the
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extend
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extent
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of being
unreconisable
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unrecognisable
unrecognizable
. Victims often
loose
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lose
show examples
their confidence to go out in public fearing to be shamed by others for their looks. Cosmetic
surgery
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can reverse and heal
someones
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someone's
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face to be
reconisable
Correct your spelling
recognisable
recognizable
for friends and family again. As many humans
firstly
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judge on appearance,
this
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can change not only their
self worth
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self-worth
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but
also
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the way others
percieve
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perceive
them.
Therefore
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, undergoing cosmetic
surgery
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after an accident can improve
life
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your life
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and help going back to a normal routine.
On the other hand
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, enhancing changes are not only reserved for accident survivors but can
also
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be taken use of by
people
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feeling ugly. On social
media
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media,
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unreachable standards are praised to be the norm, which by many young
people
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is believed to be the only way to a fulfilling life.
This
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, and the affordability
for
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of
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surgery
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make it popular for young adults to use the wide range of surgical offers. Those advancements get problematic when the change doesn´t meet the expectation and new optimisations have to be made. It can lead to addiction and ultimately deforming a
healty
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healthy
body for a look that can never be achieved.
Consequently
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, it reaches the opposite effect of what wanted to be done and can end in depression or suicide. In conclusion,
while
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cosmetic
surgery
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can help individuals get back from an accident and boost
self confidence
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self-confidence
show examples
, it
also
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poses the risk of wanting
to
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too
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much trying to meet impossible standards. I firmly
belive
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believe
show examples
, cosmetic
surgery
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should be used exclusively by
people
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with visible deformities.

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coherence and cohesion
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task response
Provide more examples to clearly explain your points, making them stronger and more persuasive.
general
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes to improve the clarity of your writing.
task response
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of cosmetic surgery.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and presents your main points, which helps in setting the stage for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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