IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion.

Some individuals claim that
people
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 only learn second languages with the purpose of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or working in another country,
while
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 others believe that there could be
further
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 reasons.
Although
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 some
master
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 a foreign
language
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 as a hobby or for intellectual stimulation, I think that the majority of humans
master
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 it with the aim of making a journey or finding a
job
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 in a foreign country. On the one hand, human beings like to challenge themselves with new, difficult or interesting things. They sometimes learn a
language
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 to push their limits,
to
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apply
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improve their creativity, and stretch their brains to think critically.
Furthermore
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, some of them see it as a leisure time activity,they like to
master
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 and learn in their free time.
For instance
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, in
China
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China,
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people
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 generally perceive learning a new
language
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 as a
brain- stretching
Correct your spelling
brain-stretching
show examples
 activity.
However
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, I believe sooner or later they learn a
language
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, and that excites them to use it as a
job
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.
On the other hand
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, in today's world, learning a
language
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 in order to earn money or discover new cultures, leaving your comfort zone, and beginning a life away from home
have
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has
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 become more popular.
For example
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, a survey made by Bubble magazine shows that 50% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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master
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 a second
language
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 for
job
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 searches
while
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 30% of them
master
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 it to communicate better
while
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. I claim that lots of individuals see it as a
job
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 opportunity and a way to contact
people
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 easily
while
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 on a journey. In conclusion,
while
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 learning foreign languages could be used as an intellectual stimulation or a
free- time
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free-time
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 activity, I personally think that most humans
master
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 it to find a
job
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 or for better communication on a trip.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are more organized. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea.
task achievement
Add more reasons or examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You use some good examples to support your points.
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