Sports programmes are very popular on television nowadays. Some people argue that those programmes are the reasons for poor health of many young people as the prefer to watch sports rather than partake in them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In
this
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contemporary era , games are very eminent on television . Some
individual's
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individuals
individual
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think that youngsters
indulged
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indulge
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in sports programmes
virtual
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virtually
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not
physical
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physically
show examples
which is a reason
of
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for
show examples
their detrimental health. In my
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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, I ardently oppose
this
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assertion and I will elucidate my position in ensuring paragraphs culminating in a well-founded conclusion. Some masses have a notion that young people just cheer
their
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for their
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favourite team
while
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sitting in front of the television and they are becoming potato
coach
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coaches
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.
Due to
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the advancement of technology, in
this
Linking Words
digital era, they can enjoy
popular
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the popular
show examples
show
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shows
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from their home in their comfort zone without
physically
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being physically
show examples
involved in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
On the other hand
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,I firmly believe that when
there
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their
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favourite team wins they jump with excitement which exhilarates their enthusiasm and
make
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makes
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them ecstatic.
This
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is
also
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a form of exercise which
released
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releases
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oxytocin from
brain
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the brain
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and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
them immense happiness.
For instance
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, In 2011 India won
World
Correct article usage
the World
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Cup and people had fun
also
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they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cried, screamed and cheered ,
this
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way they
vented out
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vent
show examples
their emotions and
feel
Wrong verb form
felt
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light and positive.
Moreover
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, youngsters
also
Linking Words
participates
Change the verb form
participate
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various games like cricket, basketball and soccer because they want to become like their favorite players which is a source of inspiration for the young generation.
Furthermore
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, schools
also
Linking Words
organized tremendous tournaments to encourage children to be a part of these events .
For instance
Linking Words
, as per BBC News, a bunch of students make sure they
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
mandatory sports period in school so , they can enjoy extra-curricular activities.
To conclude
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,
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due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the game shows
children's
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children
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are
Verb problem
apply
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actively
participated
Wrong verb form
participate
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the various
genre
Fix the agreement mistake
genres
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of sports and make themselves
health
Replace the word
healthy
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and fit .They are
also
Linking Words
preparing themselves for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future opportunities to become like their role models.

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task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by restating the topic and your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer and more varied transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more examples or details in your points to strongly support your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument clearly to show a balanced view.
content
You provide some relevant examples to support your arguments, which is a strong point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • viewership
  • partake
  • health repercussions
  • screen time
  • role models
  • inspiration
  • motivation
  • advances in broadcasting
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • lifestyle choices
  • awareness campaigns
  • community sports programs
  • balance
  • engage in sports
  • influence
  • physical engagement
  • sports celebrities
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