IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology is now very common in most places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

There is no way to imagine
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 world without
technology
Use synonyms
. We rely on it in every aspect of our daily lives: at work, at home, at school; even our free time is almost always consumed by
technology
Use synonyms
 in some kind of way. At first glance, it seems like a great thing, which is definitely true.
Technology
Use synonyms
 makes everything move faster,
therefore
Linking Words
 enhancing our productivity and
further
Linking Words
 progress as
society
Correct article usage
a society
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 as a whole.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 being a catalyst for
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
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 growth of quality of life, it may
also
Linking Words
 slow down our progress in some other aspects at the same time.
Obvious
Correct article usage
An obvious
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 benefit of modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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 accessibility that it provides in so many different fields.
For example
Linking Words
, information that was unatainable for those who were not able to pay for education is now easily available at any time through one single device; just some 100 years ago talking to your long-distance friends would take months of waiting, but today you only require an Internet connection to instantly receive a response; buying any items, from needed essentials to luxuries, became easier than ever with apps for delivery services; and so on...
At
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, all of the above means that humans are now constantly relying on
technology
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, which may be frustrating at times when
technology
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 cannot be used for one reason
on
Use the right word
or
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 another.
Great
Correct article usage
A great
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 example of
such
Linking Words
 inconvenience might be constant blackouts in Ukraine
due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
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 war. Absence of electricity often means no way to use
technology
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 as efficiently, which may cause lots of problems in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 age when a whole ecosystem is built on technological advances,
such
Linking Words
 as PCs, mobile phones, and WI-FI. In conclusion, I think that modern
technology
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 is an amazing tool for improvement, but we should not rely on it without a second thought, as it
also
Linking Words
 can be an obstacle
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the said improvement if not used with caution.

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content
Give clear view on how tech changes work life with real points: more remote work, online tools, automation; explain both good and bad.
structure
Improve paragraph link. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear tie to the question.
language
Use simple and exact words. Check spellings and grammar.
content
Add more specific examples from work life, like emails, video meetings, project tools, and how they save time or create problems.
structure
In conclusion, restate your view and give a brief look to the future.
strength
Topic is clear at start and there is a conclusion.
strength
Some good examples are used to show tech's effect.
strength
Essay relates to life and work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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