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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who are 5 portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who are 5 portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
The bar graph depicts the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of individuals who had five shares of fruits and vegetables in a day on the scale of percentage for a period of 7 years starting from 2001 till 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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three categories have shown a significant increase as compared to where they were at the beginning.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, women's intake has noticeably
on
Add a missing verb
been on
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 the higher side throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. Children which started at the lowest in the beginning has given
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tough competition to
men's
Correct article usage
the men's
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 category by starting at about 11% in the beginning, remained stable till 2003, and
then
Linking Words
 began to diverge upwards to finish at approx 23%
at the end
Linking Words
.
Simialarly
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, men started at about 18%, remained stable identical to children till 2003, showed a rise from 2004 with 21% and continued to escalate till 28% in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 two years and
then
Linking Words
 remained almost
plateauted
Correct your spelling
plateaued
 for the remaining surveyed timeframe.
In contrast
Linking Words
, women clearly
representing
Wrong verb form
represented
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 the overwhelming majority starting from about 20% in 2001, constantly hiked to reach the peak at 35% in 2006 and somehow dipped to around 30% and finished
while
Linking Words
 remaining the table toppers. In
end
Correct article usage
the end
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, everyone ended up
at
Change preposition
in
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 the same position from where they
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 begun.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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