IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the only way to reduce traffic accidents To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some
people
Use synonyms
agrue
Correct your spelling
argue
 that the way to decrease the proportion of driving
offences
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is that impose strict
punalities
Correct your spelling
punishments
.
While
Linking Words
 I agree that the
punishment
Use synonyms
 necessary actions to reduce the number of driving
offences
Use synonyms
 .
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Punishment
Use synonyms
 is not seen as a negative aspect, but rather as a positive aspect ,as some
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not
stoping of
Verb problem
stop
show examples
 doing the negative
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 unless anything
stoping
Correct your spelling
stopping
show examples
 them
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 so
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not just money
Correct pronoun usage
that wil
show examples
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 take
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 but
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 to force they to convert the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
 , when the children make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mistaks
Correct your spelling
mistakes
 their parents
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 situation by
correct
Wrong verb form
correcting
show examples
 the mistakes and
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 them how to correct
this
Linking Words
 situation so comparing
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 adults like
this
Linking Words
 example
with
Change preposition
in
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 different ways . In fact, the
punishment
Use synonyms
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 ratio the
driving
Change preposition
of driving
show examples
offences
Use synonyms
 and
organize
Correct subject-verb agreement
organizes
show examples
 the
adults
Change to a genitive case
adult's
adults'
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 , some
people
Use synonyms
agrue
Correct your spelling
argue
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not the only way to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driving
offences
Use synonyms
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 can not stoping to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diving
Correct your spelling
driving
show examples
offences
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 have a lot many
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can not the
punishment
Use synonyms
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not feel
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 must modify their behavior .
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
, the
people
Use synonyms
 who agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 should imposed for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driving
offences
Use synonyms
 ,
Hence
Linking Words
 I believe the
bunshiment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 important action to detraction driving
offences
Use synonyms
 so, must put rules and if need that impose the
punishment
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
 the situation of
people
Use synonyms
 in the countries .

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task achievement
Make sure your argument is clear throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use better linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You attempt to explain your ideas, which shows thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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