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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of whole world population in four countries from 1950 to 2000, with projections till 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of whole world population in four countries from 1950 to 2000, with projections till 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of the entire world
population
Use synonyms
 in four countries from 1950 to 2000, with projections till 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
Change noun form
China's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 will decrease over the years.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
's will increase in
this
Linking Words
 period of time. In the years 1950 and 2000 China
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the highest country in terms of
population
Use synonyms
, it is shown that in 1950 they had their peak
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 fell down to 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 was still higher than
India
Use synonyms
 USA and Japan.
India
Use synonyms
 in 1950 presented 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 increased in the year 2000 up to 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The
population
Use synonyms
 of the USA was 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1950,
then
Linking Words
 in 2000 slightly fell to around 7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, in a similar way Japan which was the lowest in
popualtion
Correct your spelling
population
 out of the four
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
, was at 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1950,
then
Linking Words
 fell slightly to 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
. It is
estamated
Correct your spelling
estimated
 that in the year 2050
India
Use synonyms
 will be the major country in
population
Use synonyms
benig
Correct your spelling
being
 around 21 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 China will be second with 19 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
 will not show an increase or a decrease,
therefore
Linking Words
, staying the same at a per
cent
Use synonyms
 of 7.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 Japan will continue to lower
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
population
Use synonyms
 to almost 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, india, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shifts
  • population percentage
  • projection
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • laggard
  • steady state
  • global dynamics
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • environmental implications
  • population trend
  • significant change
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