It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued by many commentators that, governments invest handsome amounts of money to save
wildlife
Use synonyms
, even though, nations have more pressing issues
such
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as education and unemployment. I completely disagree with
this
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notion and firmly believe that those funds should be invested to address these issues first. My inclination will be explained in
further
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paragraphs.
According to
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me, education is more crucial than
wildlife
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protection in a nation's growth and
this
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is the prime reason why I believe that authorities are prioritizing improving the literacy rate over conserving
wildlife
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.
This
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is to say that, education is the key element for the development of the nation and
hence
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, the ruling parties of the nations not only encourage families about the importance of primary learning but
also
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provide subsidies to the low-income family's children.
For instance
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, many poor families can not afford basic school supplies for their children
therefore
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, those government grants can be beneficial to them. Another prominent issue that every nation is facing is unemployment and after
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
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this
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rate has drastically increased. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2020, employees lost their jobs because of either no work during the lockdown period or
due to
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the company closures permanently. That resulted in low financial stability among citizens and they were not able to purchase goods even for their daily use. That's why,
this
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is
another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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reason, I believe that authorities are investing public funds in creating more jobs than contributing towards
wildlife
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conservation.
To conclude
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, Though
wildlife
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protection is necessary, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large sum of public funds is utilized for the betterment and growth of humans by providing primary schooling and creating more jobs.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your disagreement, but you could mention the importance of wildlife conservation briefly to give a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas more clearly. Use words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or statistics to support your points about education and unemployment. This will help make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction, which is a good way to begin the essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant ideas about education and unemployment, showing you understand important issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • safeguard
  • natural habitats
  • foster
  • cultural of conservation
  • long-term ecological sustainability
  • economic benefits
  • significant source of revenue
  • investment
  • nation’s economic wealth
  • preservation of ecosystems
  • clean water and air
  • prioritization
  • multi-faceted government budgets
  • environmental protection
  • wildlife conservation
  • neglecting
  • detrimental effects
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