IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

Teachers
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 an essential part in every
youngesters'
Correct your spelling
youngsters's
youngsters
 educational journey. Nowadays, some nations facing decreasing numbers of
teachers
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 in middle
schools
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay
eluciade
Correct your spelling
elucidates
, the causes
such
Linking Words
 as low
salay
Correct your spelling
salary
, workload and poor respect of educators and possible ways to motivate them to join
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 field
as
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apply
show examples
work. One of the primary
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 is low salaries. In
this
Linking Words
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 world, where people require high pay to manage their daily life,
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 salary can not justify it. To specify, many
teachers
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 receive low pay compared to other professions, making it less attractive to become a teacher.
Moreover
Linking Words
, educators of secondary students face more workload
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of difficult students and heavy workloads.
This
Linking Words
 can be very stressful for staff to handle pupils and curriculum.
Also
Linking Words
, some
teachers
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 feel they do not receive enough support from other staff of
schools
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 or the government. A number of strong measures must be implemented to tackle the issue. The first solution is,
both
Correct word choice
that both
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privet and public
schools
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 should increase
wages
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the wages
show examples
 of
teachers
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 which provide them
enough
Add the preposition
with enough
show examples
 amount
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to others .
This
Linking Words
 will motivate others to join the teaching
strem
Correct your spelling
stream
. The second one is
teachers
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 should be encouraged
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their work and get
sufficiant
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 support from the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the government can reward
teachers
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 for their excellent work and better results
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 students,
this
Linking Words
 will increase
self-respect
Correct article usage
the self-respect
show examples
 and value of the
teachers
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are obvious reasons why
less
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fewer
show examples
 people join
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 field as a job in secondary
schools
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.
This
Linking Words
 can
be change
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be changed
show examples
 by offering higher salaries, support from
schools
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 and motivational activities for
teachers
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a clear overview of the topic. However, it would be better to briefly outline the two main points you will discuss. This will help the reader follow your essay more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use headings or clear transitions between different points. For example, you can start a new paragraph when bringing up a new idea. This can help the reader understand when you are moving to a new point.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, ‘elucidate’ is misspelled, and using the correct spelling will make your writing look more polished.
task achievement
Providing specific examples can strengthen your argument. For example, you could mention specific countries or teachers' support programs that successfully improved the situation.
task achievement
You clearly state the problem of decreasing teachers, which is a relevant concern. Your essay addresses important issues like salary and workload that affect teaching jobs.
task achievement
Your second paragraph discusses solutions, which is a good approach as it offers a rounded view of the topic. It shows you understand both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • salary
  • stress
  • support
  • respect
  • profession
  • workload
  • opportunities
  • education
  • growth
  • society
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