IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In science, we have the social and ethical
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 concerning
experimentations
Fix the agreement mistake
experimentation
show examples
 on
animals
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the animal
models
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 are not the best
models
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 displaying real
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 in
human
Add an article
the human
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body
Use synonyms
, it looks like we have a lack of any working alternatives.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why science continues to conduct inhuman
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 and if there are any options to avoid violence in terms of
animals
Use synonyms
.
The animal
Correct article usage
Animal
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models
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 are a traditional method of researching new substances and medicines to recognize any side effects before testing on humans. But at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 it is not an ideal model because of differences between
animals
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 and human beings. If something
safe
Add a missing verb
is safe
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 for
mauses
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humans
 it does not mean that it will be safe for people in some
case
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cases
show examples
.
For example
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, the
talidomid
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thalidomide
 tragedy caused to more than 10 000 cases of congenital deformity because the previous experimentation on
mauses
Correct your spelling
masses
causes
males
 showed that it is safe. So we do not fully rely on traditional
models
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 and should look for better options. Nowadays, there are few alternatives. Currently, computer programs which are able to repeat virtually a lot of processes existing inside a human
body
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 can replace
animals
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 in some cases.
In addition
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, cell cultures are used to research how drugs can affect
on
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apply
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particular tissues in people.
For instance
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, cosmetic companies may use cell cultures of human skin
instead
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 of dropping their product into rabbit's eyes as they did it before. But
unfortunately
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unfortunately,
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 both of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 modern methods can not fully replace testing on living organisms because a
body
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 is significantly more complicated.
To sum up
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, animal experiments
is
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are
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 the gold standard
of
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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method of science testing
due to
Linking Words
similarity
Correct pronoun usage
their similarity
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 to
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 not all
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
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 inside animal organisms are
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same as people, the present alternatives can not fully displace
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the topic but could clearly outline your main points. Be direct about what you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. It helps the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better. This makes the flow of your essay smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with grammar and word choice. There are some small errors that can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You present important points about animal testing and alternatives clearly.
task achievement
Your examples, like the thalidomide tragedy, are relevant and support your ideas well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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