IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The bar chart below shows expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010
The given bar chart represents how much
France
Use synonyms
 and the United Kingdom spent on five types of products in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, perfume
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the least
in expenditure
Replace the word
expensive
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 among other goods for both countries,
whereas
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 were at the top. People of each country were close in buying almost
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 kind of product, except for cameras. With regard to the difference in
spendings
Correct your spelling
spending
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 in ascending order,
France
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 had slightly more
expence
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 on computers compared to
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, which allocated 350
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
 pounds sterlings.
Next,
Linking Words
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 bought
cars
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 for over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
 more than
France
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 did, which was equal to 400 000. Around the same
spreadth
Correct your spelling
spread
, perfume
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 obtained in
France
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 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 - 200
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
 and just under 150
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
, respectively. Consumers in
France
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 bought books for 300
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
 and for approximately 400
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
 in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, having
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 significant gap in demand between countries. Cameras were
purchases
Wrong verb form
purchased
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
twice as more as in
France
Use synonyms
, right above 350 000 pounds sterling and 150 000 pounds sterling, each. Focusing on types of goods,
Use synonyms
cars
Correct your spelling
the
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 expenditure on
cars
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 in
France
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 was exactly double
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 on perfume, and about triple for
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. Both cameras and computers in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 were purchased for around 350 000, but French people
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on the latter 2.5 times more,
that is
Linking Words
 approximately 375
Use synonyms
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousand
 throughout the year.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, cars, uk, thouthands with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • bar chart
  • comparison
  • categories
  • data points
  • economic status
  • consumer behavior
  • illustrate
  • implications
  • patterns
  • trends
  • notable differences
  • summary
  • reflect
  • insights
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