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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of British
people
Use synonyms
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
charity
Use synonyms
 in different
age
Use synonyms
 groups between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 give to
charity
Use synonyms
 follows a downward trend in almost all
age
Use synonyms
 groups, except among the elderly aged 51 and above.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 aged 36 to 50 was the highest,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for the young. In 1990, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in England spending on
charity
Use synonyms
 started at over 40%, after that the
figure
Use synonyms
 decreased to exactly 35% in 2010, which was similar to how much
money
Use synonyms
 older aged over 65 spent on
charity
Use synonyms
 in the same year.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of
money
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 aged 51 to 65 gave to
charity
Use synonyms
 witnessed an increase from 35% in 1990 to nearly 40% in 2010. Turning to the younger
age
Use synonyms
 group, how much
of
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apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 the adults aged 26 to 35 had was around 30%, doubling the amount of
money
Use synonyms
people
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 aged 18 to 25 had was around 15%. In the next 20 years, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for the 26-to-35
age
Use synonyms
 group declined by over 5%,
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for the 18-to-25 reduced dramatically to approximately 7%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, charity, age, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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