IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
The given bar chart indicates spending on housing, transport, food, healthcare, and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. It can be clearly seen from the chart that in Japan, people spend twice as much money on healthcare and transport as inhabitants in Malaysia. In 2010,
Use synonyms
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 spent more money on other goods and services,
while
Linking Words
Malaysians
Use synonyms
 spent the most on housing. The higher proportion of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 spending on health care and transportation was 6% and 20%, respectively,
while
Linking Words
Malaysians
Use synonyms
 spent 3% on health care and 10% on transportation in 2010. In terms of other goods and services, compared to
Japanese
Use synonyms
 residents with a figure of 29%,
Malaysians
Use synonyms
' data was lower at 26%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Malaysians
Use synonyms
 spent 34% on housing, which was higher than
Japanese
Use synonyms
 residents with a figure of 21%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, food consumption in Malaysia (27%) was higher than that in Japan at 23% in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, malaysians with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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