IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company. why might be this case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? give your reasons for answer

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In recent years some people
tend
Wrong verb form
have tended
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 independently
Correct your spelling
rather
reather
Correct your spelling
rather
 than
work
Use synonyms
 with
Correct your spelling
company
Correct article usage
a campany
show examples
campany
Correct your spelling
company
, in
this
Linking Words
task
Add a comma
task,
show examples
 I will discuss some reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and the disadvantage of being self-employed
Body paragraph 1
on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand , people who
saticfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 with
Correct your spelling
companies
company
combanys is
Correct your spelling
companies
 because
Correct your spelling
their
thear
Correct your spelling
their
 salary is good for them , whatever the income is fixed
monthley
Correct your spelling
monthly
 so there is no fair of suddenly cutting the salary , but
your
Replace the word
you're
you are
show examples
 not free in your time
Body paragraph 2
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , being self-employed is more
comfortalble
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 if your
work
Use synonyms
 is going as your plans so you can earn money more and more than if you
work
Use synonyms
 in
Correct your spelling
company
combany
Correct article usage
a combany
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because you can
tistribute
Correct your spelling
distribute
 your investment
as well as
Linking Words
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 free in your time
Body paragraph 3
the bad
Correct your spelling
outcome
show examples
out comes
Correct your spelling
outcomes
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 strategy
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 working as
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
Correct your spelling
business
bisness
Correct your spelling
business
 man is
stabllity
Correct your spelling
stability
 in the income money so you may be
exposure
Replace the word
exposed
show examples
 to loss if your
Correct your spelling
business
besiness
Correct your spelling
business
 fails
Conclusion
in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I think that the people who choose to be self-employed are more comfortable than the others
Correct your spelling
because
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the tendency to make more money and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 free in
Correct your spelling
their
thear
Correct your spelling
the
 time

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly group your ideas. Each paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details. This will help the reader follow your thoughts more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly connected to the main points you discuss. This helps to tie your essay together and makes it easier to understand.
task achievement
Use clearer and more specific examples to support your points. This will make your ideas stronger and more convincing to the reader.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Errors can distract the reader and affect your overall score. Proofreading your work can help find these mistakes.
task achievement
You addressed both reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You attempted to compare both self-employment and working for a company, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • work-life balance
  • constraints
  • traditional job
  • steady income
  • responsibility
  • expertise
  • establishing
  • isolation
  • support network
What to do next:
Look at other essays: