IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disgree with this statement?

Having enough savings for the
future
Use synonyms
 is really important. I totally agree that regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age it is essential to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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sufficient funds as they get older.
Younger
Correct article usage
The younger
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 generation nowadays has
this
Linking Words
 habit of spending a lot on short-term
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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,
such
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 as
materials
Change the noun form
material
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 things that
provides
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provide
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 temporary happiness.
This
Linking Words
 might be because of their mindset where they prioritize living in the moment or you only live once.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 stand in
life
Use synonyms
 is not applicable in terms of financial strategy.
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the Iphone
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Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
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 is
realeasing
Correct your spelling
releasing
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 new phone model yearly because
its
Correct your spelling
it is
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 a business and to keep up with the trends most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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 will get the latest unit. They
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 more on a product that provides the same feature
instead
Linking Words
saving
Change preposition
of saving
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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money for an item that could add more value to their everyday
life
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. Living in the present is a good stand in
life
Use synonyms
 but it is
also
Linking Words
 important to take into consideration that
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is unpredictable. Especially now in
fast-paced
Add an article
a fast-paced
the fast-paced
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 world
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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change is inevitable specifically
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 economy. Not having a safety net on your finances and getting
extra
Add an article
the extra
an extra
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 source of income will affect your financial status in the
future
Use synonyms
. Saving money and investing whether you are young or older will always be a good decision. There is no need to be knowledgeable or be a financial literate wizard but starting to save at a young age is the best strategy for the unpredictable
future
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age saving for the
future
Use synonyms
 is not just a need but it is an essential approach in
life
Use synonyms
. As
future
Use synonyms
 is unpredictable but it is up to someone to have a good financial state that will always depend on the choices you
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 in the present.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your argument. Try to use topic sentences at the start of paragraphs.
task achievement
Add more clear examples to support your ideas. For instance, provide a specific example of how saving can help in a future situation.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the importance of saving money for the future.
coherence and cohesion
You engage with the topic by discussing both the current tendencies of young people and the need to save for the future.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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