IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that universities should prepare students with the knowledge and skills they need for work. Others argue that universities are meant to provide access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of how useful the course may be to employers. In your opinion, what should be a university’s main function? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People have different views about the main purposes of
universities
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 supporters of
this
Linking Words
 statement share the view that
universities
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 have
accountability
Correct article usage
the accountability
show examples
 to prepare their
students
Use synonyms
 for a job, others are opposed to
such
Linking Words
 a belief. In my belief,
this
Linking Words
 statement is beneficial and might bring positive impacts to
students
Use synonyms
. The university's main purpose is to educate
students
Use synonyms
according to
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 their major. Every department has its own courses, so
students
Use synonyms
 across departments have different knowledge and skills. Usually,
campus
Add an article
the campus
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also
Linking Words
gives
Verb problem
provides
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 a lot of platforms for
students
Use synonyms
 to shape their interests.
For example
Linking Words
, many
universities
Use synonyms
 have their own clubs or committees to improve their
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 skills. In my university, there are many extracurricular activities that
students
Use synonyms
 can freely join and participate in,
also
Linking Words
 there are a lot of
Use synonyms
students
Change the noun form
student
show examples
 committees that focus on different things customized to their
students
Use synonyms
 wants. In short, it is recommended for
universities
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 to provide access for learners to hone their abilities.
Post-graduate
Add a verb
Post-graduate is
Post-graduate was
show examples
 often hard for some
students
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.
Therefore
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,
universities
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 should help
students
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 prepare for those times. Normally, each major has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 method to prepare
students
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 for
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my experience, my major has programs that allow
students
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 to participate. These programs allow
students
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 to grasp the procedure to apply for
work
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. The procedure includes tips and tricks for all of the steps job selection process that companies normally do. Those programs that are held on campus will surely help
students
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 to prepare after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
. To summarize, in my opinion,
universities
Use synonyms
 should help
students
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 prepare for
work
Use synonyms
 before graduation.
This
Linking Words
 will make the student more confident to apply for
work
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and clearly relates to your opinion on the topic. This will help you stay focused on your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion'. This will help your essay flow better.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details in your main points. This will strengthen your argument and support your ideas better.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion about the role of universities, showing that you understand the topic well.
Task Achievement
You included personal experience to support your ideas, which makes your argument more relatable and engaging.
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