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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Computers are being used more and more in education and some say there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more computers are used in learning and some others views believe there will soon be no teachers in education.In my opinion, the role of the
teacher
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 is really crucial for the student in the education. first of all,
i
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I
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 agree to study with the
teacher
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 in class because
,
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apply
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 that makes me more focused on my studies and
also
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 if I make any mistakes the
teacher
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 can fix
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 for me.In fact, when
i
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I
show examples
 was studying in
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school. I had some issues with my grammar and with my colleagues. when
i
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I
show examples
 want to share my opinion, some of them make sounds to interrupt me.
However
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, my
teacher
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 was now about it, and he told the students to be safe or he would take them to the director.
Furthermore
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,
i
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I
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 found a study taken about the same topic, which was from Boston University in 2003,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 illustrates
this
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 subject.
And they
Correct word choice
They
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 did some research about it, and they found
79
Correct word choice
that 79
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% like to learn from a
wealth
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wealthy
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teacher
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.
On the other hand
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, some of the students prefer to learn on computers. Because they believe
that is
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 more helpful for them and
also
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 useful for their education for a variety of reasons.
For instance
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, they can use AI to assist them in doing their homework or for the test.
To sum up
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, learning computers is good and in some situations, can help you to enhance your skills.
However
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, people must use it to watch out for any cheating from the AI.
moreover
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, learning from the
teacher
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 is better than a computer because
,
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apply
show examples
 the
teacher
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 can understand you and can give you so tips about his expires.

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Task Response
Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Make sure to express whether you agree or disagree with the idea that teachers will have no role in education.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and include supporting details.
Task Response
Add more examples to support your points. This will help clarify your ideas and make them stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. This will make your writing clearer and easier to read.
Content
You have presented some good ideas about the role of teachers and computers in education.
Content
Your personal experience adds strength to your argument and makes it relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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