IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons ad examples to support your answer.

There is an argument
between
Change preposition
about
show examples
 whether
sports
Use synonyms
 and social
activities
Use synonyms
 should be treated equally in financial
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 at universities and colleges. Basically, I think different cases should be dealt with respectively. Here are the reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, different
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 institutions have different goals. Research-based universities should put fiscal focus on building up more integral and abundant
resource gaining
Add a hyphen
resource-gaining
show examples
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, like adding more foresighted curriculums to cultivating
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 or expanding existing library resources.
Sports
Use synonyms
-based universities apparently need more
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
 in
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities, which should be seen
even
Change preposition
as even
show examples
 more significant than other aspects. The "predisposition" of a college determines whether
sports
Use synonyms
 and social
activities
Use synonyms
 should be viewed the same as main classes.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I would say that even
Use synonyms
sports
Correct word choice
if sports
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 treated equally, social
activities
Use synonyms
 should not become the main purpose. Too much social engagement takes up time that should be put into
Correct article usage
the acedemy
show examples
acedemy
Correct your spelling
academy
 and consumes too much energy, causing idleness in hard fields
such
Linking Words
 as math,physics and programming.
For example
Linking Words
, my
roomate
Correct your spelling
roommate
, who spent more than half of his time in social
activities
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
received a big "F" in his report. If these kinds of
activities
Use synonyms
receiving
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
 equal support, it's hard to
imaging
Correct your spelling
imagine
show examples
 how many students will be just like him. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
. It's hard to decide whether
sports
Use synonyms
 should be received equally, but it's apparently not wise to give social
activities
Use synonyms
 the same
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main opinion in the introduction. This will help to guide your reader through your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Add more examples to support your points. This will show your understanding and make your argument stronger.
Task Achievement
You raise interesting points about the different goals of educational institutions.
Task Achievement
Your examples, like your roommate's experience, make your argument relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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