IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or diagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

increasing the
price
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 of petrol to reduce the
traffic
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 jams and
pollution
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 is not effective. The question is, Do you think
is
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apply
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the best
way
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 to reduce the
traffic
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 jams and
pollution
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 is increasing the
price
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 of petrol. In my opinion, I do not believe
that is
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 a good
way
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 because humanity needs petrol if we increase the
price
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, we will have economic inflation. In
this
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 essay, I am going to introduce other ways to reduce the
traffic
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 jams and
pollution
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. First of all, We can not remove the
traffic
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,
However
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, We can create some solutions to mitigate the
traffic
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.
although
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 creating new roads and expanding the city that suffers from
traffic
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.
that is
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 cost highly,
However
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, It
an
Add a missing verb
is an
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 effective
way
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 to mitigate the
traffic
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.
For instance
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,
In
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apply
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Riyadh capital of Saudi Arabia
was
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apply
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suffered from
traffic
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 most of the time,
Therefore
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, The government created new roads and expanded the city.
As a result
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 , they decreased the
traffic
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 by 45%.
in
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In
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 the end
this
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way
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 costs a lot of money,
On the other hand
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, It is
an
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apply
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effective for a long time.
However
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,
There
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there
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 are many countries
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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 issues with their climate because the
pollution
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 especially the countries that have many factories.
therefore
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, They ought to plant millions of trees and create many forests to mitigate the
pollution
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.
for instance
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, In China there
aremany
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are many
 cities with
pollution
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,
therefore
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, they planted three million trees and created six forests around the city,
as a result
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, they have decreased the
pollution
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 by 66% now. in conclusion. I would argue that increasing the
price
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 of oil is not the best
way
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 or is not even an effective
way
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. I recommended other ways to mitigate them.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. You could say 'I believe that increasing the price of petrol is not a good solution.'
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas. For example, use 'First,' 'Next,' and 'Finally' to help the reader follow your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your grammar and spelling. For instance, 'there aremany cities' should be 'there are many cities'. Small errors can distract from your main points.
task achievement
You have provided good examples from Riyadh and China to support your ideas about reducing traffic and pollution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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