In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to imporse a higher tax on this kind of food. TO what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The fast
Correct article usage
Fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
is became
Change the verb form
is becoming
show examples
our daily
food
Use synonyms
not
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
avaliability
Correct your spelling
availability
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
of
food
Use synonyms
but only because
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
. The quality of fast
food
Use synonyms
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
health problems. The
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
disorders
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to fast
food
Use synonyms
request
Verb problem
require
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
around the world to take action. In
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
days,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
came
Verb problem
became
show examples
common and
wildspread
Correct your spelling
spread
unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
all
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
the people focus on the taste
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
on the healthy components.
Second,
Linking Words
the fast
food
Use synonyms
sourses
Correct your spelling
sources
are not known
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
people.
For instance
Linking Words
, some employees who work in
restrants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
are not eating from them.
Also
Linking Words
, the chickens
refer
Wrong verb form
referred
show examples
to
some
Change preposition
by some
show examples
companies are growing with abnormal feeding.
Thus
Linking Words
, the disorders of fast
food
Use synonyms
cost
governments
Use synonyms
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
care
servies
Correct your spelling
services
. The
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
damage associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
morbedity
Correct your spelling
morbidity
and mortality. In 2010, the Global Health
Orgnization
Correct your spelling
Organization
annoiance
Correct your spelling
annoyance
about fast
food
Use synonyms
problems which can lead to
cardicpulmanary
Correct your spelling
cardiopulmonary
disorders,
severes
Correct your spelling
severe
Use synonyms
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of cancers, and the over body
wieght
Correct your spelling
weight
.
In addition
Linking Words
, people with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
problems are inpatients
at the end
Linking Words
in hospitals. The treatment of
this
Linking Words
major disease
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
the
governments
Use synonyms
a huge amount of money, so
governments
Use synonyms
need to apply a tax agonist
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
of
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the tax can
used
Add a missing verb
be used
show examples
to treat the cancers or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
some surgical procedures. To summarize, the most common
kind
Use synonyms
of
food
Use synonyms
is
a fast
Remove the article
fast food
a portion of fast food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
which is delicious but with
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
risk of dangerous
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
. The illnesses
spreated
Correct your spelling
spread
for many organs but
differant
Correct your spelling
different
by the
severety
Correct your spelling
severity
severely
.

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task achievement
Your introduction has some good ideas, but try to make it clearer. Start with a strong statement about your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. Make sure words are spelled correctly and sentences make sense.
task achievement
You have mentioned some important health problems related to fast food, which is a great point.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your points, which is a good effort.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • government intervention
  • taxation
  • healthy eating habits
  • public health initiatives
  • nutritious alternatives
  • affordable food options
  • public awareness campaigns
  • health problems
  • rise in consumption
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